My Favorite Joke from the 1960s

Planecrazy · 04-24-2006, 10:07 PM

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad
new is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition,
which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure
creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is
to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he
left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,
but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different
person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's
clothing store and thought, "That's what I need ... a new suit. That will
make me feel a little better."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The
elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit
... it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new
shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves
and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe
walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new
underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got
you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would
press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one
hell of a headache."

New suit -- $400
New shirt -- $36
New underwear -- $6
Second Opinion -- PRICELESS

MissyMeGirl · 07-06-2006, 02:59 PM

lol, thank you, i needed a laugh.

MissyMeGirl · 07-08-2006, 01:03 PM

been thinking about this for days...what kind of loon walks down a street to a suit shop

right after having his testicles removed?

nutsXplanes · 07-08-2006, 02:24 PM

Quote:

When he left the hospital

the story does not state that the guy was released soon/right after the procedure.

Planecrazy · 07-08-2006, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nutsXplanes

the story does not state that the guy was released soon/right after the procedure.

That is right! See, in the 1960s they kept you in the hospital for a long time after surgery to help in the healing process. Now-a-days even for major surgery they give you a stick to bite on and roll the gurney with you on it right out the door!

This past December, my wife actually burst her belly button and had to have it and a 6 inch hernia repaired, including a surgical fabric mat inserted and stapled to the muscles. They did the surgery as Outpatient (came into the hospital two hours before surgery) and released her to go home the next day. BIG Owwie!

Now, in 1962, my uncle Louie was diagnosed with water on the brain. They admitted him to the hospital right away and in a twelve hour surgical process inserted a valve with a chain release. While my uncle was recurperating in the hospital the doctor explained that any time the pressure built up, he should pull on the chain and release some steam (Uncle Louie was always a hot head). After three weeks of recuperation he was released to go home.

Within a few weeks he was feeling so much better he returned to his favorite hobby of riding his bicycle. Unfortunately, while he was trying to set a new personal speed record, the chain got caught in the pedals and he flushed himself to death!

DavidMich · 08-03-2006, 09:28 PM

Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire, each trying to say they were tougher than the other. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”

The Arkansas cowboy replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”

The Texas cowboy just sat there quietly, slowly stirring the coals in the campfire with his dick.

Planecrazy · 08-03-2006, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMich

Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire, each trying to say they were tougher than the other. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”

The Arkansas cowboy replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”

The Texas cowboy just sat there quietly, slowly stirring the coals in the campfire with his ****.

I had to send this to my son in Texas. He's a cowboy there!

ozark delta brat · 08-04-2006, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMich

Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire, each trying to say they were tougher than the other. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”

The Arkansas cowboy replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”

The Texas cowboy just sat there quietly, slowly stirring the coals in the campfire with his ****.

Hook 'em.

-odb

04-24-2006, 10:07 PM	#1
Planecrazy Senior Collector Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 487	My Favorite Joke from the 1960s The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need ... a new suit. That will make me feel a little better." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit ... it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." New suit -- $400 New shirt -- $36 New underwear -- $6 Second Opinion -- PRICELESS

08-03-2006, 09:28 PM	#6
DavidMich Registered User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Back in MCO! Posts: 3,626	Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire, each trying to say they were tougher than the other. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.” The Arkansas cowboy replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.” The Texas cowboy just sat there quietly, slowly stirring the coals in the campfire with his dick. Last edited by DavidMich; 08-03-2006 at 09:31 PM.

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07-06-2006, 02:59 PM	#2
MissyMeGirl Junior Collector Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Orange County, Ca Posts: 46	lol, thank you, i needed a laugh.

07-08-2006, 01:03 PM	#3
MissyMeGirl Junior Collector Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Orange County, Ca Posts: 46	been thinking about this for days...what kind of loon walks down a street to a suit shop right after having his testicles removed?