george2

It started out innocently enough...

I began to think at parties now and then - to loosen up. Inevitably,
though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a
social thinker.
I began to think alone - - "to relax," I told myself. But I knew it
wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home.
One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the
job.

I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop
myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and
Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If
you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation with the boss.
"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "

But Honey, surely it's not that serious." " It is serious," she said, lower
lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college
professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't
have any money!" " That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as
I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some
Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran
up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a
poster caught my eye. "Friend, Is Heavy Thinking ruining your life?" it
asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video. Last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and
things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed. easier, somehow,
as soon as I stopped thinking. I believe the road to recovery is nearly
complete for me.

Today, I registered to vote as a Republican.

STEVEJ

"Suppose I was a heartless bastard..........suppose I was a Republican...........I repeat myself."

Mark Twain

tdh8192

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Joe gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot with good, clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan. Because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast -- bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

Joe takes his morning shower, reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount that is contains because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and the breakdown of its contents. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer meets these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get worker's compensation or an unemployment check because some liberal didn't think he should loose his home to temporary misfortune.

It's noon time. Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dad's; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification (those rural Republican's would still be sitting in the dark).

Joe is happy to see his dad, who is now retired. Joe's dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad, Joe gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees, "We don't need those big government liberals ruining our lives. After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

In the years to come, Joe's life will change dramatically. The U.S. dollar will be devalued as a result of our huge deficit, our living standards demolished, our standing with the world diminished and our social security gone...all because some conservative Republican made sure he could take care of himself and his buddies.

Criton

I don't get it......

Hapag-Lloyd

It figures.

__________________
THIS SPACE 4 RENT!!!

N2272V

This is an old and tired left wing posting you will find on Liberal blog and web sites that like to poke fun at things Conservative and Bush.

It is quite clever and humorous, but unfortunately, not remotely connected to the REAL world. The premise is that without Liberal Governments, people could not possibly make it on their own without their enlightened help. Unfortunately it ignores the self reliance and dignity that made this country great the first 200 years of it's existence.

I am happy that Liberals find comfort in reading such tripe rather than coming up with real solutions to real problems. This is why the Republicans now control both the congress and the white house.

So keep it up you blathering Liberals. We're laughing all the way to the polls.

N2272V

This is the ORIGINAL joke as posted on Laughs and Jokes.com

= = "IT STARTED OUT INNOCENTLY ENOUGH:" = = WOODEN NICKEL
I began to think at parties now and then-to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone-"to relax," I told myself.

-- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home.

One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my mate about the meaning of life, but she just spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job.

I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in.

He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors... They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

Now I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today, I registered to vote Democrat!

Source: [/ http://www.laughsandjokes.com/viewpost_380143.asp

Could this be another case of UNORIGINAL thinking and plagerism by Liberals? One must wonder when you Libs will get a clue.

And now you have, The REST of the Story. Carry on!